im still alive

im still in like

im still writing

(Source: kittyvampireworld, via thedarkwillcomesoon)

CHANEL AGULIARA

(via lahlahland)

(Source: slekes, via abetenoire)

I entered with a bit of urgency & no hesitation
I left behind my bag of tricks „ it would only weigh me down
This was to be a short trip (double double) in & out
no funny business„no extras just straight for the prize
I could care less about his heart I had my sights on his mind
I didn’t wanna keep it… that was never the goal
I just wanted to read all the books in his library
Then head home
I prepared for 2weeks a month at most
I’ve been here half a year so far yet… so close
Almost „ I just need another day
That day turned into 2 then 3 then a week
That week turned plural & I started loosing sleep
Intrigued„ pulled in then pushed out within a matter
Of seconds hit repeat & there it is my current reality
Being let in to be shut out
Being brought up to be let down
This is some kinda sick & twisted alternate universe
A fun house maze minus the bright emergency exit signs
Its almost as if you want me trapped inside
So you can have something to do when your bored
I’m glad I amuse you with my countless failed attempts to consume you
I can neva digest a healthy sized scoop of you
Without gettin sick
I get weaker with every sip
Or bite & even the smell of you gives me anxiety
21 days in the least informative section I can find
& ill be free
But every square foot is filled with something that interest me
& now my interest has turned into a slight obsession
A need
A fix, without indiscretion
My slip is showing
And I have no recollection of lifting up my dress
I promise it was you but of course you’ll deny it
And make me out to look like a fool
And maybe I am just your jester
That makes you the king and me simply
Your entertainment ,nothing
Someone on the payroll
No union,no retirement plan
so I can get laid off without notice or a backup plan
No health care so when my heartbreaks
I’m forced to seek government assistance
Which means ill get a band aid & a pat on the back
I shoulda picked a canadian
Instead of a 5th generation refugee
At Least open heart surgery woulda been free
Release me
I secretly beg of you
Even tho I know my only escape is to escape you
You didn’t lock the gate I did
This is my fault for taking your silence for weakness
Now look at me
Exposed

(Source: iamjenniferle, via mvcdvddy)

(Source: weheartit.com, via shegoood)

hey you, its me Ive been gone so long im surprised im still recognized

i creeped out in the middle of a crowed party one night

you were too busy wit her you didnt see me leaving

you were so drowned in liquor you didnt see her scheming

i tried to warn you told you to slow down

but shot after shot round after round

you closed out my screams

my preaching and teaching

all my years of hard work dedication and sweat

built up this wall just to have it knocked down

all for the idea

not even the actuality

but the idea

the thots she bought up

the pictures she painted

the excuses she made as to why you aint made it

ive always been your protector and this is the way you show me

how

you care

you respect

you appreciate me

by falling into the idea that you are weakened by me

i get it shes beautiful and she can make you feel alive

but shes deadly and i can guarantee she’ll be the reason behind your suicide

she dosnt love you she loves love

im telling you this now cause me, i still care

she’ll risk your health and sanity to satisfy her own needs

so this isnt an “i told you so” but a “please”

please dont let her get the best of you

dont pick your heart over me

love,

your pride